Snip, Snip, Hooray!

The lines of young men wrap around the block. There’s little conversation. Some are staring at their phones. They look a bit stunned, like this can’t be happening.

Yet here they are, waiting for their turn to be seen by a doctor at Planned Parenthood. They’re here because the government has mandated vasectomies. The window they have to get them is only a few months. The law is clear — if they impregnate a woman, the penalty is minimum five years in prison.

Off to the side, behind a rope, is a less sedate group of men. They’re chanting “Our bodies, our choice” and carrying signs that read like this:

“I shouldn’t have to get married to have sex.”

“Where in the Bible does it say I have to be emasculated?”

“Let the women have abortions.”

“What if I promise to wear a condom?”

“I voted to #MAGA — not have my rights taken away!”

****

Ah, yes. We’ve entered my dystopian fantasy. Fuck the red robes and white bonnets. My overhead shot would show lines of guys in jeans and t-shirts awaiting their snip-snip procedure. A few incisions later and voila. The abortion rate is on its way down, down, down.

According to the Planned Parenthood website — the real one, not my dystopian version — in 2014…